There might have been a moment before the world was split straight down the middle. A moment before the when.
I had the immense privilege of attending Azusa Pacific’s MA Program alongside Kathryn Ross, who is a dear friend, support, and creative inspiration. In a wonderful twist of fate, both of us published debut books this fall. Her book, Black Was Not A Label, is a non-fiction account of her experiences up to this point--what it means to be a Black woman in America, and what it meant to be a Black girl. I’d read several of the essays (in earlier forms), but the collection itself is tidal--it washes over the reader in waves that seem to push up against the soul. Ross’s power lies in her command of gracious language. She is precise and in control on every page: she eviscerates, but with a gentle hand. She uses her gentleness to speak to corners that have long been ignored by anyone not forced to live in them. I had the immense privilege to interview her on BWNL, what writing it meant for her, and what might be coming next.
Your epigraph is from the Song of Songs, definitely the most sensual book in the Bible. How did sensuality/sexuality and its metaphors inform the crafting of BWNL?
Song of Songs 1:5 has always stuck with me because growing up, “dark” was always used negatively no matter what it was relating to. Colorism is a deep hole that’s easy to fall into, and if you aren’t careful, “dark” becomes the opposite of all things good. I saw myself through this lens for too long, but Song of Songs 1:5 gave me a different perspective.
“Dark” is often synonymous with “ugly” or “undesirable” and when you think about this through the context of slavery, “dark” also links to class and rank. Darker slaves were those who worked in the fields and lighter slaves were those who worked in the house, and housework was considered better work and of better rank. If you’re dark you’re worse off, lowly, second-class, and much of that thought process is still true today, just in different ways.
In Song of Songs, however, the speaker notes that she is dark because she works in the fields, but this does not take away her loveliness. I think, when it comes down to it, “dark am I, yet lovely” is an inversion for me. The most sensual book in the Bible includes mention of a dark-skinned woman and she is seen as lovely, beautiful, and is eagerly desired. It helps me feel like I can be this woman--wanted, lovely--something so different from how I was seen and treated growing up.
The Ghost World essays are out of sequence numerically, but thematically the book flows wonderfully. What drove the sequencing of your work? Did things change in revision that made (previously published) essays change sequence?
The Ghost World essays are numbered as such because this was the order in which I wrote them. It’s rather simple, but I liked the idea of keeping their numerical titles the same no matter where they ended up in the final sequence. It’s great to know it all flows well - my editor and I spent a lot of time rearranging to create a progressive, linear story.
Gonna be honest, non-fiction terrifies me. Can you walk me through the appeal of writing in non-fiction, especially on such a personal topic?
Non-fiction terrifies me too. In Erasure, I tell myself that I have to talk about these things in order to exorcise them, remove the poison they have left in my body and spirit. I never planned for my first book to be so raw and personal, but it’s just what ended up happening. I guess if there is any appeal, it’s that writing non-fiction can be a type of personal therapy and I’m a big believer in the goodness of therapy.
What author(s), living or dead, would you want to read BWNL?
I would have loved if Toni Morrison could have read BWNL -- and Countee Cullen, Zora Neale Hurston, and James Weldon Johnson. Of living authors, I would love for everyone and anyone to read my work, but I’d especially like BWNL to find its way into the hands of Colson Whitehead, Jesymn Ward, and Yaa Gyasi.
Compliment time! Your word choice is just stunning. “How did these people, these couples fight through God’s love and His cruelty and find one another?” How do you want to use language when you sit down to write?
Thank you! I want to use language in a way that is beautiful to read but painful to process. I want readers to think, “Wow, what a lovely sentence” while they’re being totally gutted by its meaning. Both ways! Good gutted where you marvel at how clear and true a sentence is, and the hard gutted where what is said kind of punches you in the face. I want my language to rough readers up a bit.
What are works that inspired/emboldened you as you worked through this work? Would you recommend follow-up reading?
I include an Afterword in my book that goes over many of my influences that inspired and emboldened me as I wrote BWNL. I could list them all here, but it might be better for listeners to grab a copy and check it out there! ;)
Both BWNL and The Sacred Art of Trespassing Barefoot [my debut work] deal pretty heavily with “younger selves.” Was there a point in the book, maybe a specific section or essay, that your younger self really fought to have written (or fought to have erased)?
I think young Kathryn would have wanted a lot, if not all, of this to be erased. She and I see the world so differently and much of BWNL is me forcing her to look at things she didn’t want to see or feel or experience. My younger self didn’t want to sit in the alterity she often felt, but now I want to expose those moments and call attention to them and force not only myself, but others, to see them for what they are.
You present a complicated relationship to church and also to God throughout BWNL. Is that something you plan to explore further in future work?
I’m always exploring my relationship with faith, God, and the church in my works, so yes, I’m sure it will continue to pop in future stories, poems, and essays. These are things I’m always trying to understand and get a better grasp on, and writing is one of the most effective ways I know how to process and find clarity. I probably won’t ever stop writing about these things.
Black Was Not A Label is published by Pronto and is available in paperback everywhere, including Amazon, Barnes and Noble, and Indiebound.
You can follow Ross’s work at speakthewritelanguage.com.